Mavrik McAlice turns One.

As I write this, Mav is passed out on my lap and holding onto my hair to make sure I don’t put him down.

I know moments like this won’t be around forever.

He’s officially one.

I don’t know how the time goes so quickly, but I could swear I was just complaining I would be pregnant forever. And then I was in a hospital laughing and crying as they said I was most absolutley in labor. I actually said to the nurse, “so you mean I’m leaving here with a baby?” And her responding that’s usually what happens. And he was here. In my arms. Sweet and fresh and mine.

And some time after that I blinked.

And I have a running, climbing, laughing happy happy boy. He is a perfect blend of Taylor and I, and he completes our family in a way we didn’t even know we needed.

He makes us laugh everyday and to know him is to love him.

He is the best thing ever and I am blessed to be his.

Happy birthday to my Mavy.

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Tis the Season

coujkdfsbmssanta2013 fgdsgdsfgsfgThis Christmas was so much fun!

It’s crazy to think that only a year ago, I was uncomfortably pregnant..and now we have a big boy running around and getting into everything!

Our Christmas (month) consisted of Santa, lots and lots of food, and as many Christmas lights as we could see!

A few days before Christmas we had a brunch at the country club where the kids could meet Santa.

Briley was way more excited than last year, and Mav just looked at his curiously! All in all, Santa was unharmed!

On Christmas Eve, we stayed at Nancys, where we had a huge (yummy) dinner and then watched the Santa Claus in our new  pajamas.

It is a tradition that I look forward to continuing in the coming years.

A couple months ago we planned that Briley’s big Christmas/birthday present would be a trip to Disneyland!!!!

Of course it was a gift from Santa, so we couldn’t tell her until Christmas morning..but who knew keeping a secret from a 4 year old could be such hard work!

We all had to speak in code and whispers, and at one point or another all of us let it slip in front of her without her even recognizing what was said!

A roadtrip, new baby love, and giving thanks

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Around Thanksgiving, we went to Tahoe to visit Taylor’s grandpa.

It was exciting to see him get to meet Mav, especially considering he was named after him!

On the way we stopped in Sacramento to meet the newest nephew, Isaac. I’ve never seen a babe with so much hair!

For it being Mav’s first real roadtrip, I was pretty nervous how he would handle it, but he did surprisingly well!

(Baby food pouches are a life savor in car situations by the way.)

Although I love Halloween, Thanksgiving is the true start to the holiday season for me.

It means family, and good food, and slowing down to recognize all the beautiful things we are surrounded with.

I am extremely blessed to have a happy marriage, 2 healthy happy loved children, and an amazing support system of family and friends.

I am constantly re learning that family is not always blood.

It is a genuine care for another person and their happiness.

It is something that should be treasured and respected, not taken for granted and abused.

Whoever said you can’t pick your family must not have been blessed with good enough friends.

A cup of afternoon truth.

Lately my late night google sessions have turned to blog posts from other moms.

Reminders (little or big, but desperately needed) that I am not alone in this crazy parenting world. That it IS a tough job (no matter how much we all want to make it look easy). That EVERYONE has bad days, and it doesn’t mean I’m failing.

When Briley was first born I had no idea what I was doing. But I was young and she was my first, and I was almost completely alone, so I excused my mistakes. I knew I wanted to be a good mom, but I didn’t take it too hard when we had a bad day (or 4).

When Mavrik was born, (especially because it was Taylor’s first baby baby), I felt like I had to know everything, and I had to do it all right. Because this was my second, and I’m a mom. It’s a moms jobs to know how to fix everything.

Here’s what I surely wasn’t prepared for.

One kid feels like one kid.

But two. oh man. Some days it feels as if there are 10 tiny people running circles around me, trying to see how far they can push me to the edge.

Before I yell. And cry. And tell my husband I am running away.

Because although I am not proud, I have done all of those things. More than once, and probably not for the last time.

Sometimes I think they were sent here to torture me. (Grandparents revenge, right?)

Sometimes I have to talk myself out of a glass of wine before breakfast is even over.

Sometimes I feel like I am not cut out for this, and want to throw in the towel.

Sometimes I hate being a stay at home mom. The routine of it. The “unproductiveness” of having nothing to show for all of my efforts at the end of the day.

Sometimes I  count down the minutes until bedtime, and then cry when I see them sleeping because I realize how fast it’s all going.

And the worrying (I will assume this part only changes with their age, but never actually gets any better):

Am I doing good enough? Am I instilling the right values? Am I building a strong enough bond they will still come to me when they are older? Am I concentrating on all the wrong things?

As I’m writing this, I would like to point out Briley is brushing my hair and telling me I am the most beautiful mommy ever, and Mav is destroying the newly cleaned kitchen (he is also having a fantastic time doing it. The simple things in life).

I don’t want to sound like it’s all bad.

Because it’s great.

But that’s easy to hear.

“It’s the best job I’ve ever done.”

“I’m so blessed to be his mommy.”

and I agree. I really do.

But those are the comments that can make a mom feel alone. Like she’s the only one who isn’t enjoying every single like every other mom.

But it’s not all fun and games.

I miss sleeping in, or at least sleeping through the night.

I miss being spontaneous and free and irresponsible.

I miss my body. Oh what I’d give to have that body back.

I miss having conversations with people that didn’t involve the topics of diapers, sleep training, and how timeout is working for talking back.

I miss being selfish.

 

And I know this all sounds selfish, it feels selfish. But it’s how I feel sometimes, and I can’t think that I’m the only one.

Sometimes the cold, ugly, cannot believe someone would say that out loud, truth can be so refreshing.

A little Camera obsessive

This all started as an “I’m going to take 6 month pictures of Mav” project and turned into an addiction. quickly.

I am in NO WAY a photographer, and man oh man, do I have more respect for those who do this fulltime.

It is not as in any way as easy as it looks.

Either way..I am in love with every one of these images.

These sweet little faces that change far too quickly.

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