Train Wreck

Train Wreck.

Emotional roller coaster.

A hot mess.

I am the definition of all these, especially on days like yesterday.

With Briley I never took a stork tour (where you visit the maternity ward where you will deliver)

but this time around I thought it would be comforting.

My anxiety about EVERYTHING is soaring exceptionally high now that I know I’m officially in the last stretch.

I (along with 8 other expectant mommies and their support systems) walked into the labor room, and I almost started crying.

Like verge of tears, probably looked like a complete crazy.

But it was so intense to me. To know that in a few short (who am I kidding? forever long) weeks I will be there.

On another journey to meet another baby.

It has been the most “this is real” experience for me this whole pregnancy.

Doing this for a second time, there are things I feel more prepared for and confident about.

I know that it really does hurt as bad as you think it will, BUT, you will live and it is worth it.

I know that even of my most tired of days with a newborn, there will still be sweet moments.

I know that babies are a lot more break proof than they seem.

But, some things are almost scarier this time, and other things are like being a first time mom again.

Because I do know it’s going to hurt as bad as I think.

And I BEGGED for an epidural last time, but I am so determined to do it naturally this time.

Because I do know how tiring the days will be, but now I have a 4 year that will depend on me as well.

Because although babies can somehow live through our parenting, there’s always the fear something could go wrong.

It’s very exhausting all the things I feel in a days time.

Happiness, excitement, overwhelming fear, anxiousness, the feeling that this will never reach its destination point and I’ll remain pregnant for all of eternity.

Immediately followed by the feeling that this is all flying by and I’ll never get things done in time.

sighhhhh.

So back to the story of yesterday, and my almost emotional breakdown.

After I got home and needed my nightly dose of social media networks, I decided to ONCE AGAIN hashtag search “naturalbirth”

And I stumbled across this BREATHTAKING picture.

 

Which of course, like a true internet creeper, made me go straight to her blog.

And this post was amazing.

WATCH THE VIDEO. I cried like a BABY.

http://keilajunephotography.blogspot.com/2012/11/jaydon-marleys-birth.html

I am so excited ( at the moment, haha)  for the moment to come.

I am so excited (all the time) to see my sweet baby boy’s face.

And that is a great thing to be emotional about.

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